Having Kids: the Best and Worst Bits
The worst bits.
And the whinging. Sometimes relentless, it drills into your skull and makes you throw a baking tray across the kitchen (or so I’ve heard ...)
The inability to ever leave the house on time
Last-minute nappy changes, the toddler's daily poo (30 minutes with the Smyths toy catalogue, yes really), tantrums, and shouts of, ‘Where the fuck is his fucking coat?’ ensure you are always late. And grumpy.
Unless you have the luxury of a playroom (we don't), your living space will now resemble the Early Learning Centre after a break-in. Sure you'll tidy up, but little humans insist on getting all of the toys out all of the time. They particularly enjoy tipping out toys with lots of small pieces. This results in having baskets full of non-matching puzzle pieces, random blocks of Duplo and half a Sofia the First tea set, because quite frankly you cannot be arsed to sort them all again. Sigh.
Or lack thereof. Such an obvious negative to becoming parents but MY GOD I never realised how much my general sense of wellbeing relied on sleep. I can't remember the last time I wasn't awake at 3AM. I bloody hate 3AM.
A lifeline in all manner of situations, you will adopt a love/hate relationship with Kids' TV. Some of which is truly insufferable. Like Bubble Guppies. And one day you will worryingly realise you have seen every episode of Peppa sodding Pig (‘I think this one's my favourite, Peace and Harmony in all the world!’) and formed theories about the residents of Ponty Pandy. Like could Norman Price be Fireman Sam's secret love child? No sign of Mr Price and they are both ginger, just saying.
But in amongst the mess and the cartoons and the stress and the noise, there are moments of brightness and brilliance …
The best bits:
Those little arms around your neck, a little face snuggled in to your chest. Knowing that when they hurt themselves only Mum or Dad's cuddles will do.
Sometimes I cry (okay, I cry quite a lot). And sometimes I comment on how bloody hard life with kids can be. But the flip side of all that is the laughter. Our house is filled with laughter each and every day. Funny things the toddler says, hysteria due to tiredness, winding each other up. This house feels warmer with our boys in it.
I mean that's what it's all about, isn't it? On the darkest of sleep-deprived days, when I can't have a shower (or a wee) in peace, when I throw out the skinniest of skinny jeans because they are no longer realistic, when I wonder if I will ever have an uninterrupted meal again ... well, on those days I think ahead to five years’ time. Ten years time’. Twenty years, even. When my babies will be causing havoc at school, or bringing girls home as teenagers, or having babies of their own. All the times to come when I will be so very thankful that two became four and we created the most important recipe for happiness. A family.